September 24 2015

Principal’s Message Sept 23, 15

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

All children have certain character traits that they find easier to display than others. Some children are naturally very generous and find sharing very easy. Some children are naturally patient and can wait for long periods of time without becoming restless. Other children are very tolerant and find it easy to accept other people.

However, some children are very determined and the parents of these children find that this character quality can be both a blessing and a curse. While these parents celebrate the fact that their children will never give up when they set their mind to a task; at night when the same child is deter-mined not to go to bed they find the child’s determination to be something not so admirable.

If you are the parent of a determined child then there is hope and parenting expert Michael Gose recommends the following approaches for dealing with your determined/strong-willed child:

Channel rather than change your child’s behaviour. Recognise strong-mindedness is desirable in many situations but children need to learn that there are times when they must give way.

Avoid being drawn into petty disputes of your child’s making. Step back a little and allow your child some minor victories.

Focus on what you will do, rather than tell your child what to do. For instance, rather than arguing with your child to go to bed tell him or her that you will begin reading a bed-time story in five minutes. Then just do it – begin the story whether your child is there or not. (This example will not work for every child but the principle is important – focus on your behaviour and tell children what you will do rather than tell them what they should do.)

Use choices, which gives strong-willed children the illusion of control. For instance, “Jessica, if you want to play inside you must be quiet. If you want to make a noise then outside is the place to be.” Strong-willed children like to think they are in control.

More of Michael’s parenting tips can be found at